The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize