I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
