ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
