He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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