i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
