Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize