my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
