I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
