This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
