ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
