I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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