So drunk, too bad you don't want this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Randomize
