dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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