did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
