Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Randomize
