I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
