his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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