yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
