thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
