omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
