i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
