If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
