I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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