everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
