how can u be prego again
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Randomize
