Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
