well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
