I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
