You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
