What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
