Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
