So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
