do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
