so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You made out with two different species that night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
