So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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