she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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