butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
