I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
