escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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