you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
