i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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