She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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