it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize