so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
