He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
