mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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