Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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