sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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