I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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