Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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