I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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