at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
