Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
