can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
