Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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