Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
