I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
