I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
