Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
