He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
