Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
