it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
