the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize