STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
