i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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