she woke up with a sticky ear
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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