Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
