hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
