I am puke
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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